Mom Raps

This is SO. Much. Fun. for me.  Hope you enjoy!  (And follow me here for your daily dose of #politeasfudge) 

 
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Date Night. a Polite AF original

Date night, date night//

For parents 9 o'clock is late night (late night)//

Because we see our kids at daylight (daylight)//

Not a sippy cup in tha sight (tha sight)//

//

Goin out my house without my sweats//

washed my hair//

And you know I got no regrets//

Bout the 25-an-hour for a nanny who//

Who can handle all my kids, even when they got achoos//

//

Cause mama and daddy going out on the town//

A half a bottle of wine and Target, it's goin down//

//

We came for TP but we bought a TV//

There's a difference tween what we want and what we need//

When we're out all we do is talk about our kids//

And how we can't find a single sippy cup lid//

Cause when they're asleep//

They're so fudging cute//

But date night be like putting them on mute// 


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Wait, are we psychically connected, cause I just got the vibes that you really wanted to read a song about yoga pants, inspired by Tina Turner.  Here goes:
.
What’s yoga got to do//
Got to do with it//
What’s yoga?//
I just got my comfy pants on//
What’s yoga got to do//
Got to do with it?//
Who needs real pants when I got on my yogassss 


ODB.  Baby I Got Your Lovey

You throw your lovey/

I pick it up/

You act like your nap time don't mean a fudge/

I ain't got no problem with you nappin' babe/

But I got a little problem with you not nappin babe//

Sheppie, you know I'ma take care of you, cause you're my cutie baby and for you I'll peek a boo//

Is it a good thing? Heck yeah, it's a nap//

If I was a baby, I'd be all over that//

So I walk on over with my bott-al//

Babies put away your swadd-al/

Mama's won't be having that in this house//

I'm about to tap out and get my spouse//

Should I rock you to sleep or CIO?//

I'm a mama, not a psychic, so I really don't know//

.

Hey, Sheppie!  Baby I got your lovey//

Said hey!  Baby, I got your lovey//

.

Nappy, nappy, nap time//

Nappy, nappy, nap time//

 

 

 

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My Gords remix for My Humps (Black Eyed Peas)  

Whatcha gonna do with all those pumpkins?//

All those pumpkins, are y’all bumpkins?//

I’ma get get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my humpkins//

My gords, my gords, my lovely fall-spiced gords//

You love my pumpkin lattes, my candles and desserts//

Spiced waffles got me — they got me spendin’//

Oh, spendin’ all your money on em’. Ah-on em//

Whatcha gonna do with all those pumpkins?//


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Had Some Sleep in My Life remix of Had the Time of My Life

Because we all have that friend who's tired-as-a-mother, but who can still carry a watermelon 🍉

Now I've had some sleep in my life//

So I've never felt this tired before//

Yes I swear it's the truth//

and I owe it all to you//

 

Cause I've had some sleepless nights//

And I owe it all to youuuuuu//

 

I've been waiting for so long//

And I finally have someone to say "mommy"//

When we saw your sonogram//

We didn't know you wouldn't sleep til you were three//

We saw the writing on the wall//

As the sleep coach told us we were SOL//

Now with bags under our eyes//

There's no way we could disguise, so here's our plea//

Just remember//

You're the one thing (well, three things for me)//

I'll get out of bed for//

So I'll tell you something//

This is Mom-Love, because//

I've had some sleepless nights//

But I never felt this way before//

Yes I swear it's the truth//

and I owe it all to you (momlife momlife)//

 

Hey baby!

 

With my body and soul//

I want sleep more than you'll ever know//

So if you'll sleep in past dawn//

I'll let you watch all the Paw Patrol//

Yes I know what's on your mind//

When you say:

"Stay with me tonight."

(Aren't there parent labor laws?) You're the one thing//

I'll get out of bed for//

So I'll tell you something//

This is Mom-Love because//

I've had some sleep in my life //

No I've never felt so tired before// Yes I swear it's the truth//

and I owe it all to you//

'Cause I've had some sleep in my life 

But now I stumble in through your door //

At midnight// And at Twoooo//

That's SO much Mom-Love for you! // 😴