Nope, not pregnant. Thanks for asking, tho.
Mmkay. This week's article could go either way. But I'm a-changin' and today I chose to handle this differently in my own anxious little headspace. I've been asked two times in my life if I was pregnant when I wasn't. I'm sure it was equally as embarrassing for the asker as it was for me, and I hate to ruin the punch line, but today, I came to the conclusion that I don't need to internalize someone else's rude misassumption. Here's how I handled it.
I am in a space of reclaiming myself. Reclaiming how I like to treat myself (with love and compassion) and how I like to feel. How I like to not overthink.
Anway, I was feeling great this morning -- I went for a run, handled a bunch of moving details and then showered and got dressed in a cute and flowy jumper/dress combo. The one from the picture.
I squeezed in a mani-pedi before Shep's noon preschool pick up, and darn it, didn't the woman doing my nails say "You having a baby?" as soon as I sat down.
Ugh. That's "the bitter" in the sweet. That's life. So. Back to me and the crossroads. I could think all day "do I look pregnant? If I lost 5, 7, 10 pounds, would I look better?" But I don't think that. I feel good about myself and I'm learning day-by-day to not care what everyone else thinks and tap into myself and my own intuition. Each person creates their own reality, is on their own journey, and what she said had nothing to do with me or how I feel about myself.
"Nope, not pregnant, thanks!" I said in response.
And you know what? I decided to let that thought GO. I felt fudging amazing about myself today, and I like how I look and I know I don't look pregnant.
I thought about emailing customer service at this fancy nail salon something like: “asking clients if they are pregnant is something etiquette-wise a person shouldn't do”.
And then I remembered a few things I'm working on right now and how I'm really too busy to give an F about educating someone else on her faux pas she's probably super-embarrassed about and won't repeat anyway:
- I will no longer take things personally. Back to that 'everyone has their own reality thing', where they are the star of their show. We are all the stars in our own shows. We're the audience to everyone else's.
- Practicing 'letting go'. We think four gagillion thoughts a day. I could let this one go. That's not to say I didn't complain to Jen and my husband and then write an article about it tonight. But now, I'm ready to let it go.
- Do unto others...I can promise you I will never ask a woman if she's pregnant. Even if her belly button is popping out and she's waddling down the street, I will not assume that person is with-child or has a need to talk to me about it. I've lived 34-years and pay attention enough to learn you never know a person's situation until you know and not only that -- being pregnant (or not pregnant) does not mean you want to chat with strangers about your life or your body.
And finally, I feel like this article wouldn't be complete without a Dirty Dancing analogy akin to letting each person who comes into your life walk their own path, separate from your own:
“Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.” - Johnny
Look, you can't control what someone does in their own space. You also can't always control the overlap, or when they dance on into your space. BUT. You can always, always control how you respond, and how you internalize it in your own head.
I'm choosing that old yoga phrase ring true: Let go of whatever doesn't serve you. Buh-bye!
PS - I love a good success story. My friend Maradith got the idea for @littlesleepies when she was searching for soft and cozy pjs for her kids. The lowest end wasn’t quite hitting the mark and the highest end more luxe brands are SO expensive. This woman is so badass she made her own company and is now making the softest bamboo jammies for kids and donating part of the proceeds for each pair sold to charity. Wow. Amazing, adorable. So impressive.