A Letter to My Last Baby (On His First Birthday)
They say third babies are "everyone's baby". And that may be true. We all enjoy you -- your brother and sister and Nana and daddy. And me. We all enjoy you because you're amazing and funny and chubby and sweet. But your my baby and I have thoroughly enjoyed your babyness, maybe even more so because you are my last.
I feel mixed emotions about our time breastfeeding coming to an end. I considered continuing but since putting my nipple into your mouth is tantamount to a surprise mouse trap these days, I think we'll be winding that down.
From the moment they laid you on my chest, you and I had an instant, magical connection I think I could only have with you. I had been through two c-sections before and knew what to expect. As I laid there getting stitched up, I could see you and couldn't wait to feed you - my way of love. I thought perhaps it was the drugs from surgery, but I had this overwhelming, immediate warmth and love for you that has continued to grow.
There's something interesting that happens when you are pregnant with your second, third and so on. You wonder how you can love another like you love your first, and for me, second. My pregnant self thought about things like 'would adding a third upset the balance?' And could I avoid the dreaded "middle child" syndrome for my eldest son?
But you know what? We all did just fine.
Third baby -- you are in a sense everyone's baby. Your brother and sister adore you and let you pull their hair and throw yourself on top of them. They have a patience within them for you that makes me shine with pride. Your daddy can't get enough of you and we argue over who gets to 'hold the baby' when you experience things for the first time. We love your gentle(ish), loving head buts and open mouth kisses, even when you throw a surprise lip bite in the mix.
A family of five in which you are the ultimate book end, an amazing addition to our family, and my goodness, do I enjoy you so much. Maybe even more knowing that you are my last.
(We're pretty sure)
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