Harnessing the power of perspective to light up your life


I love following Rachel Friend on Instagram. She’s a professor, mindset coach and special needs mother who offers grounded inspiration for real life, especially on going inward to do the messy (but freeing) work on oneself. You may have seen Rachel and her family on the Netflix hit show, “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”. If you missed it, you can catch a little clip featuring Rachel and her family on Good Morning America.

My passion is to help people learn how to harness the power of perspective so they can get out of their own way, make peace with their past, & connect more meaningfully with others.

All photos and quotes above can be found at Rachel’s Instagram account, @itsrachelfriend. You can also check her out on Netflix ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’ episode one, as well as her own YouTube Channel.

Rachel Friend: It was life changing! The KonMari method changed the way we view our home and everything in it. Marie Kondo is such a joy to be around, no pun intended. I think the fact that my husband was also on board to go through this process played a huge role in the success of it. We were both mentally ready, which was important as it’s easy to think of a ton of excuses NOT to get started. 

Biggest takeaways:

  1. The first takeaway is how everything having a place could bring so much joy! It was the biggest game changer for us! Everything has a home now and we know where everything is. No more junk drawers! It makes cleaning up (especially after kids) so much easier. We’ve been keeping up the method and I think that’s largely due to the fact that we did the entire process from top to bottom. It’s etched in our brains. ☺️
  2. The second takeaway was how much more productive my husband and I became. It was as if the condition of our home was holding us back in other areas of our life. Finding joy at home has allowed us to focus on what really matters to us. For starters, we are more present with the kids and each other. Also, I finally launched my online business which is the reason for my IG account (something I wanted to do for so long).

Polite As Fudge:  On your Instagram, you’ll share where you were in your former perspective and where you’re at now.  I can so relate to that and it’s so interesting to look back on things I’ve done work on, whether it’s formerly worrying about what people would think about this or that…to being free from it.  In your practice, how do you begin to help people overcome these human tendencies that get us caught up in negative (or just plain unhelpful) mindsets?  

Rachel Friend: One of the first things I teach my clients is that their perception is not reality, but instead “their” reality. We often get stuck in these limiting patterns where we see things as “fixed” or “the way that it is.” This perception, created from our upbringing and personal experiences, limits our growth by keeping us stuck in mental patterns that don’t serve us. 

Once you become aware that your perception is variable and not fixed, you can begin to step into the work needed to change your perspective and eventually, your habits. I offer several techniques and exercises to begin retraining the mind so we can start to engage in more productive habits. The results are life changing…according to my clients ☺️.

Polite As Fudge:  What are the top things people come to you for and what are the most essential “things” to get a fresh perspective on?  

Rachel Friend: Most of my clients want to become more present with their loved ones— especially their children. They’ve also reported wanting to have a more positive outlook on life and not let the past have so much control over them. This usually lends itself to worrying about what others think, fear of failure, holding grudges, and struggling with self care in some way shape or form.

Self care is a huge part of what I teach as there are many misconceptions about it. The biggest is that self-care is selfish which couldn’t be further from the truth. However, you can’t do better if you don’t know better so I understand why some people may see self-care in such a negative light—it was never something that was effectively taught or shown to them. 

I aim to change other’s perceptions on self-care and educate people on its importance as it is necessary for growth and overall well being—something many people strive for. The issue is that most people don’t realize that much of their struggle has to do with lack of self-care in some way. This is because self-care embodies so much! It has to do with your mindset, your priorities, your habits, intentions, etc. All of these things effect how you think and feel on the daily. If you are unaware of any of the above, you won’t be able to give yourself what you need and in turn, can’t provide fully to others. This is huge for moms as we always want to give our all to our families, however we need to meet our needs first so we don’t burn the candle at both ends. I know, I’ve been there.