Did someone say they were missing my raps?

Nope, no one said they were missing my raps. But that’s okay. A rap about Candice Cameron and her Hallmark movies just came to me, so obv I’m gonna post it here for you.

I was having writer’s block and Matt was making suggestions about what I could write about this week. Should I write about how I prep for a plane trip with three kids? Nah, I don’t really have anything to say about it anymore. Maybe after three I’ve just learned to relax a little, enjoy some wine and trust that they’ll (mostly) behave themselves on the plane. Honestly, I’d give them all like a 9.9/10 as travelers anyway, minus Shep being a crappy travel-sleeper, but third time around, I know he’ll outgrow it soon.

What were Matt’s other suggestions. Oh. How I felt about our trip back. I think I covered that already though. A holiday gift guide? I mean I could…but I actually went back and read the one I did last year and was like woah, I can actually use this for my shopping this year, brahaha.

So when he suggested something tongue and cheek about my love for holiday movies, I knew it was Hallmark-movie-rap-gold when it just fell out of the sky into my head. He was like “wait…you just wrote that right now?” Yep. That’s how Jay-Z, Cardi-B, and like, I don’t know — Weird Al Yankovic do it. I feel like Kimmy Schmidt here, but me too, Titus. Me. Too.

Obviously a rap about Candice Cameron who is in like every single Hallmark Movie, so much so that Matt’s all you have to call this: “Catch Cameron in these Christmas Classics”.

PS – this rap is based on a true story hehe. I went to a Friends of the Family Gala and both Melissa Joan Hart and Candace Cameron were there, and well, I guess you’re just going to have to read my rap. Word to your mother.

I saw her once in LA from afar

I was standing outside and she was getting out the car

and by car, I mean a Limo dude, (that dude was for Michelle, on Full House with all the tude)

Candice was with her pal Melissa Joan Hart

At the gala, there they were, both my favorite 90s stars

Did I say hi? Did they in return respond hello?

Heck no, I played it cool as if I didn’t know

but say I’d have been in a Hallmark Movie

I prolly would’ve said hi and kinda peed

and by kinda, it would’ve made yellow snow

in LA cause you know they got a snow machine yo

Now Candace C’s in every Hallmark movie

Will she be a Shoe Addict, or a Real Estate Queen?

Or maybe she’ll switch places with her twin

You only have to half watch to know how it ends

And maybe that’s why I like so much

I can side eye the TV with my wine on the couch

Here’s the Christmas Movie Lineup!

Thank you for the list, MP!

Finding Father Christmas

December Bride

A Royal Christmas

The Perfect Christmas Gift

Pam’s personal favoriteA Bride for Christmas

Another of Pam’s favoritesPride, Prejudice and Mistletoe

Christmas in Evergreen

Christmas in Evergreen: Letters to Santa

*A Shoe Addict’s Christmas

Ice Sculpture Christmas

*Christmas Under Wraps

A Veteran’s Christmas

The Princess Switch

*Switched At Christmas

So…are you team Lifetime or Team Hallmark? Let me know in the comments below <3

XOXO, Mandy