Nope, no one said they were missing my raps. But that’s okay. A rap about Candice Cameron and her Hallmark movies just came to me, so obv I’m gonna post it here for you.
I was having writer’s block and Matt was making suggestions about what I could write about this week. Should I write about how I prep for a plane trip with three kids? Nah, I don’t really have anything to say about it anymore. Maybe after three I’ve just learned to relax a little, enjoy some wine and trust that they’ll (mostly) behave themselves on the plane. Honestly, I’d give them all like a 9.9/10 as travelers anyway, minus Shep being a crappy travel-sleeper, but third time around, I know he’ll outgrow it soon.
What were Matt’s other suggestions. Oh. How I felt about our trip back. I think I covered that already though. A holiday gift guide? I mean I could…but I actually went back and read the one I did last year and was like woah, I can actually use this for my shopping this year, brahaha.
So when he suggested something tongue and cheek about my love for holiday movies, I knew it was Hallmark-movie-rap-gold when it just fell out of the sky into my head. He was like “wait…you just wrote that right now?” Yep. That’s how Jay-Z, Cardi-B, and like, I don’t know — Weird Al Yankovic do it. I feel like Kimmy Schmidt here, but me too, Titus. Me. Too.
PS – this rap is based on a true story hehe. I went to a Friends of the Family Gala and both Melissa Joan Hart and Candace Cameron were there, and well, I guess you’re just going to have to read my rap. Word to your mother.
I saw her once in LA from afar
I was standing outside and she was getting out the car
and by car, I mean a Limo dude, (that dude was for Michelle, on Full House with all the tude)
Candice was with her pal Melissa Joan Hart
At the gala, there they were, both my favorite 90s stars
Did I say hi? Did they in return respond hello?
Heck no, I played it cool as if I didn’t know
but say I’d have been in a Hallmark Movie
I prolly would’ve said hi and kinda peed
and by kinda, it would’ve made yellow snow
in LA cause you know they got a snow machine yo
Now Candace C’s in every Hallmark movie
Will she be a Shoe Addict, or a Real Estate Queen?
Or maybe she’ll switch places with her twin
You only have to half watch to know how it ends
And maybe that’s why I like so much
I can side eye the TV with my wine on the couch
Pam’s personal favorite – A Bride for Christmas
Another of Pam’s favorites – Pride, Prejudice and Mistletoe
So…are you team Lifetime or Team Hallmark? Let me know in the comments below <3